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Sabres Insider Best of Seven

Friday, 03.03.2006 / 12:00 AM / News
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Sabres Insider Best of Seven

March 3, 2006

The Sabres Insider's Best of Seven is purely for fun. Each week, Sabres.com will post a new seven item list for your reading pleasure.

This Week:


Best of Seven other "adjustments" to the shootout:

7- Goalie no longer allowed to build a little wall of snow.
6- As in billiards, shooter must now call his shot.
5- Arena PA must play Europe song "Final Countdown" throughout the contest.
4- If the shootout goes past five rounds, teams will play red-rover to determine winner.
3- Fans encouraged to shout "Noonan!"
2- Players on bench must act like contestants on the Family Feud.
1- All three shooters go at once.

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Best of Seven Rejected Winter Olympic Events:

7- Long Ski Jumps Off Short Piers
6- 10K Spelling Bee
5- Dizzy Bats on Ice
4- Opening up new C.D.'s
3- Naked Luge
2- Red Rover
1- The Great Goalie Race

Best of Seven things hockey fans would like to know:

7- What's underneath the ice?
6- What ever happened to Tom Draper?
5- Who gets to sit inside of the Jumbotron?
4- If the puck goes off a guy's face, does he get an assist?
3- Why don't they call them "waffles" anymore?
2- What's a Minnesota Wild?
1- Is it "Defense" or "Defence"?

Best of Seven things a puck would say if it could talk:

7- "I wonder what it's like to be behind Ryan Miller?"
6- "Hey baby. You know, I used to glow when I was on Fox."
5- "Koharski has such nice, soft hands"
4- "Thank goodness Al MacInnis retired."
3- "Hey Ref! I was just kicked into the net by Regehr!"
2- "How come, when I hit the post, it doesn't register as a shot on net?"
1- Yes, I was aiming for Kasparitis' groin!

Best of Seven ways to make intermission more exciting:

7- Give the Zambonis super bass, hydraulics, and killer ground effects.
6- An arena full of people playing Laser Tron.
5- Place a Dixie cup at center ice and have fans try to hurl change into it.
4- Instead of "Kiss-Cam", have "2nd -base cam".
3- Load up the T-shirt gun with corn dogs.
2- Two fans are chosen at random to fight to the death at center ice.
1- A fan must reenact George Costanza's "Frogger" scene from "Seinfeld" with the Zambonis.

Best of Seven Lindy Ruff Pet Peeves:

7- When Sabretooth sheds in the lockeroom.
6- With all of the Wednesday night games, he's completely behind on "Lost".
5- If his press conferences go long, he misses out on a window seat.
4- The McDonald's prize wheel never lands on the Sabres' bench.
3- It's hard to coach when everyone is shouting.
2- People who talk in movie theatres.
1- He has to stand the entire game!

Best of Seven Hockey headlines buried in the back pages:

7- Power outage in Carolina. Canes beat Panthers 4-3 in total darkness.
6- NHL Hall of Fame to auction off the teeth of former great players.
5- Bill Barilko is missing again.
4- NHL Expansion talks resume. Peru and China chosen as finalists.
3- World puck shortage. Teams to use tins of Skoal.
2- Tampa Bay to change nickname to the "Lightnings".
1- Brett Hull admits it was no goal. Cup goes to Buffalo.

Best of Seven surprises at the halfway point of the season:

7- Less fights, but more groin pulls?
6- No one has mentioned the letters "C", "B", or "A".
5- The Predators' policy of leaving a piece of sponge candy on everyone's seat for home games.
4- Sidney Crosby hasn't yet burst into flames from all of the camera lights.
3- The stunning turn of events when Apollo died in the ring.
2- Not a single tie in any game yet this year!
1- Ryan Miller left off the Team USA roster. What's with that?

Best of Seven punch lines to dirty hockey jokes:

7- "...that's right, they've pulled the Goalie."
6- "...he IS a Mighty Duck."
5- "...two minutes for boarding!"
4- "...that's what happens when you move hockey to Nashville."
3- "...Claude Lemieux"
2- "...I thought you said 'puck'."
1- "...It's a looney, a tooney, and Ron MacLean's home phone number.

Best of Seven 'rejected' hockey team nicknames:

7- Saskatoon Groin Pullers
6- Hartford Horn of Plenty
5- The Sacramento Stench
4- Long Island Also-Rans
3- The 'Most-of-my-teeth-are-real' Mauraders
2- The New England Gnewts
1- The Jeffersons.

Best of Seven Fun Sabre Roadtrip Activities:

7- Use Marty's equipment to build a fort in your hotel room.
6- Prank call Toronto's A.C.C., ask for "Lou Zerr."
5- Use up all of your "Future considerations" on Steak Roastito's.
4- Browse through the new CBA.
3- Strap on some Rollerblades and latch onto a Bus.
2- Change the pronunciation of your last name.
1- Find a slump-buster.

NHL rule changes for 2006-07:

7- Hit a post, do a shot.
6- No more goalie masks.
5- To make Overtime more exciting, "Sudden Death" will now be taken literally.
4- One player from each team gets a pool cue and a garbage can lid.
3- Alexander Daigle's name will now rhyme with "Bagel".
2- All pucks must have creamy filling.
1- Goodbye Shootout, Hello Limbo!

SCHEDULE

HOME
AWAY
PROMOTIONAL

STANDINGS

EASTERN CONFERENCE
  TEAM GP W L OT GF GA PTS
1 p - BOS 82 54 19 9 261 177 117
2 y - PIT 82 51 24 7 249 207 109
3 x - TBL 82 46 27 9 240 215 101
4 x - MTL 82 46 28 8 215 204 100
5 x - NYR 82 45 31 6 218 193 96
6 x - PHI 82 42 30 10 236 235 94
7 x - CBJ 82 43 32 7 231 216 93
8 x - DET 82 39 28 15 222 230 93
9 WSH 82 38 30 14 235 240 90
10 NJD 82 35 29 18 197 208 88
11 OTT 82 37 31 14 236 265 88
12 TOR 82 38 36 8 231 256 84
13 CAR 82 36 35 11 207 230 83
14 NYI 82 34 37 11 225 267 79
15 FLA 82 29 45 8 196 268 66
16 BUF 82 21 51 10 157 248 52

STATS

2013-2014 REGULAR SEASON
SKATERS: GP G A +/- Pts
C. Hodgson 72 20 24 -26 44
T. Ennis 80 21 22 -25 43
D. Stafford 70 16 18 -19 34
C. Ehrhoff 79 6 27 -27 33
C. Stewart 63 15 11 0 26
C. Conacher 79 7 19 1 26
T. Myers 62 9 13 -26 22
Z. Girgensons 70 8 14 -6 22
M. Foligno 74 7 12 -17 19
J. McBain 69 6 11 -13 17
 
GOALIES: W L OT Sv% GAA
M. Neuvirth 4 8 2 .921 2.78
J. Enroth 4 17 5 .911 2.82